That Day

My name is Mike Smukula and my accident happened while I was at work on 1-15-2004 around 10:00am at the Albuquerque Auto Auction where I was the Operations Manager. This is where my “TBI” Traumatic Brain Injury occurred that day. Most of what I am going to tell you regarding those early days of the accident are what I have been told as I have virtually no memory of it, nor do I have any memory of 2003, 2002 and so on.

That Thursday morning was a sale day where we were scheduled to sell approximately 1,000

Vehicles within a 3 hour time frame. Ultimately the sale was canceled due to the catastrophic accident that happened during the sale. As the Operations Manager I managed approximately 200 of the 230 employee’s employed at the facility. Thursday’s are the biggest sale day of the week and we also have sales on Tuesday evenings, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Just to give you an idea of how many vehicles we sell each year; we process more vehicle titles than the entire state of New Mexico. That Thursday morning I felt a critical mistake was made by the human resources department in that they hired a 77 year old gentleman as a driver to start working on the busiest sale day of the week versus making him a driver on the slowest day of the week, Monday, and letting him get used to driving around the facility, it’s 55 acres, and potential 7,000 vehicles on its premises. Three hours into his job and the first time behind the wheel driving thru the chaotic auction lanes this gentleman started having some type of medical malfunction that was noticed by at least 2 people and was helped by nobody. He had a trainer in the vehicle with him, who was not trained in what to do in such an emergency. By the time the SUV truck ( Ford Explorer ) made it thru the auction bidding lanes and around the building this gentleman started having what was thought to be a massive heart attack. His right foot mashed against the trucks gas pedal forcing the truck to go as fast as it could possibly go while making a left hand turn. The truck traveled thru a large group of automotive dealers who were there to buy vehicles, not hitting one of them at those high speeds, thank god. By now the truck was traveling at approximately 50mph and it was heading right for me and one of my managers. Unfortunately I had my back turned to the direction that the truck was barreling down on us from and Bruce could not see past me. I’m not a small person as I am 6’0 tall and 270lbs and Bruce is just a bit shorter which is why he could not see over me to see the truck coming to hit us. Bruce later told me that when we finished talking I took one big step sideways and at that point Bruce was able to see the truck. Unfortunately it was right on top of us, within inches of hitting us at that point. Bruce felt bad as he said that he did not even have time to scream my name to get out of the way and then the truck struck full force at 50mph. The passenger side of the front end of the truck hit me in my right side throwing me over the hood where I flipped many, many times bouncing off the windshield glass until I hit where the windshield glass meets the roof and then I was thrown off the truck and 15 feet up in the air. Landing on the right side of my face/head breaking both; eye sockets, temples, check bones. The right orbital roof over my right eye, many skull fractures, subarachnoid hemorrhage, many, many other facial fractures, TBI, damaged my right shoulder, and right hip, right leg, both hands, and many other injuries that I just don’t remember here. I have had over 50 doctors and am currently on 24 different medications. They said that when I came to I stood up throwing the blood off my face with my hands wanting to know who hit me! As if I was going to track em down and punch em back. I took one step and fell back down and started struggling to get back up to my feet. Four guys got on top of me, one on each limb to hold me down to protect me from hurting myself. But it was no easy task, remember, I’m 270lbs J. They said blood was just pouring out of me at this point but that I was putting up a good struggle trying to get on my feet. My head was just swelling bigger and bigger to an ungodly size that was not only scaring people but more than worrying the paramedics. The paramedics had already made a decision that I probably would not make it so a Life Rescue Helicopter was called in to get me to the nearest hospital. In between time the guys that were holding me down said that my body just went limp. They said this made their hearts sink as they thought I died, then I spoke very quietly and softly. I said “ok guys, I promise that if you all get off me right now, I won’t hurt anyone when I get up” They said they all smiled and said that’s our Mike, he’s a fighter, he’s gonna make it! Now the Life Rescue Helicopter landed and the paramedics inside walked over to me along with the paramedics on the ground. They all assess the situation and the helicopter people agree with the ground paramedics that I won’t survive the ride to the hospital so they should just make me comfortable for the remaining few minutes of my life and they turn off the helicopter. When all the crowd hear the copter is turning off they go into a frenzie and start complaining telling the pilot you folks don’t know Mike, he will make it. He’s a fighter! Start that thing back up and get him outta here. Get him  to the hospital. That they did, they took me to University of New Mexico Hospital (UNMH).

The Hospital

My first memory; for some reason I am laying on my back, and I don’t know why? I can’t see, can’t move, no one is talking to me, I have excruciating pain and I don’t know where I am at or what is going on. Initially, I think I am laying in a ditch somewhere or laying on the side of a road but again I don’t know why this is all so confusing. I just cannot believe how much pain I am in, but I cannot understand why I can’t see? Why don’t my arms or legs work? Then I hear someone talking! Multiple people talking, walking in areas somewhat around me. It grabs my attention fast! So quickly I think that if I concentrate I may be able to figure out where I am. Maybe these people just don’t know that I am here and then I can tell them “hey I’m over here, please help me”. So I listen intently and realize that it is doctors and nurses that are walking in the areas around me, but past me and not paying nay attention to me. Boy I just don’t understand that, why are they not helping me? How could they just walk past me, in a hospital yet. I must be hurt, I used to have a lot of pain with a very bad back, more pain than I have ever known in my life. Now I have more and it is all over! Then it dawns on me – I’m in a hospital, I can’t see, can’t move, no one is talking to me, doctors and nurses are walking past me. Dammit! I’m DEAD I’ve got a sheet covering my face which is why I can’t see and my body is dead which is why it won’t move and I am in the hallway waiting to be moved down to the morgue. I don’t even remember a accident, what happened to me? Now I’m dead and I did not even say good by to anyone this morning when I left the house, oh boy what a mistake. I’ve left forever and did not say goodbye to those that mean the most to me. Oh my god what has happened to me, please let me say goodbye. I wanted to cry right then and there and all of a sudden I heard a noise down by my feet. I tried to speak and say “hey” and those words came out! What a surprise. A woman responded by saying yes Mike what do you need? I asked her that if I asked her a question would she promise to tell me the truth? She said yes. So I asked her if I was going to make it? Was I going to live thru what ever happened to me? She said…. Mike, you’re so dam ornery you’re not going anywhere! I said are you sure I am going to live and she replied yes Mike you are going to make it. Then she told me I was in a terrible accident and that my face, head were swollen horribly and that my eyes were swollen shut. Many months later I found out this kind woman was my boss and friends wife Jane McCoy. This deal of worrying so much about dying stems from the paramedics talking freely as they stood over me that I was not going to make it. Even as they carried me to the helicopter they talked freely that I would not survive the trip to the hospital. I was told this by multiple people in the following months. They said they told the paramedics to shut up as they were worried that I could hear what they were saying. The paramedics replied that in the state I was in that I could not hear or make sense of anything so not to worry, yet even now days this still haunts me. In hindsight these people and their careless acts did a lot of damage to me

2^nd Memory;  a nurse was wanting to wash my hair and I wanted a shower, so we went back and forth and finally she left the room saying go ahead then Mike. In hindsight, I was out of intensive care and in a room with another person. So excitedly I struggled to get out of the bed and automatically grabbed onto the walker that was sitting right there. Boy I thought that was odd. How did I know to walk with a walker? Why am I walking with a walker? Why am I in a hospital?? As I struggled across the room the other guy looked at me like he had seen a ghost, what the heck is going on here I thought. The walker, hospital, this guy’s look. I don’t get any of it. It’s all like a bad nightmare. Why am I here to begin with? In the bathroom I go and I look in the mirror and scare myself with what I see. My face is so torn up that I can’t believe it. What happened to my face I thought? Why isn’t anyone telling me what happened to me? Why am I here? I was so shocked I turned and went back to bed to try and figure out what the hey was going on with my body. What happened to me. I need to lay down. I don’t recall any type of accident. Many months later, Vicky my beautiful wife told me that every time I would wake up, which was every few minutes I would stick my hand thru the bars in the bed and wiggle my fingers (I still could not see yet) looking for someone to hold my hand. When someone did, I would ask who it was, then I would ask if I was going to live wait for an answer and go back to sleep. Wake up and do it all over again. This went on everyday in the hospital all day long. I also found out much later that I went thru days of physical therapy learning how to walk down the hallways and up and down stairs with the walker. I still have no recollection of this or 99.9% of my hospital stay. I was also told I had many, many friends visit me and I am sorry to say that I don’t recall seeing or visiting with them.

3^rd Memory; I opened my eyes one day and seen our youngest son Bryan sitting to my left. One year, one month and to the day of my accident Bryan died of a TBI at 20 years old.

4^th Memory; Two men my age, came to see me in the hospital and apologized for what their father had done to me. It turns out these two gentlemen were the sons of the poor man who was driving the truck that struck me and he died. I shook their hands and told them I was sorry that they lost their father.

More to Come